Dennis Rainey: What are you doing to build your mate's self esteem?

Guest: I tell her she looks good. I mean, she wears clothes, I say "hey babe, you look pretty good." You know, I tell her that, make her feel better about herself. I try to complement her when I can. She's pretty good at what she does.

Dennis Rainey: In a magazine article, the late, comedian Steve Allen once revealed that as a child, he was left alone and was often neglected. He learned to use his natural sense of humor to cover up his deep loneliness and feelings of rejection. Allen's life illustrated the truth that our background largely determines how we see ourselves.

Have you realized that your mate's childhood affects the way he sees himself? His parents may have been too permissive, too strict, or even abusive or neglectful. Imagine what your spouse's life was like as he was growing up. How did he feel? How would you have responded in similar circumstances?

One final thought. One way you can really get to know your mate is to learn about his childhood. Find out how past experiences made him who he is today. Your husband -- or your wife -- will be encouraged as you begin to listen and to care.

I'm Dennis Rainey, and that's Real Family Life.